However, there are practical steps that you can take to heal your emotional wounds. Keep reading to learn our top 4 ways to deal with a broken engagement and navigate your new life.
How To Deal With A Broken Engagement?
1. Let Go Of The Past
Ending an engagement can have you shift between emotions like sadness, anger, disbelief, embarrassment or guilt. It is important to first give yourself time to recover from the initial shock and grief about the relationship. The next step is to free yourself from the past and move on.
One of the most important steps is to begin to accept what has happened. Accept that for whatever reasons, your relationship did not work out and that that chapter of your life has ended. Divorce lawyer Karen R. Guthrie wrote that broken relationships “only hurt for a little while and you have complete control over how much someone can hurt you.”
The first few months will be the most difficult, the earlier you let go of the past, the easier the healing process will be. Start by getting rid of anything that reminds you of the relationship. Be sure to immediately cut off contact with your ex. Other than to sort out practical decisions: financial, accommodation, wedding related etc.
Even if your ex is sending you nasty messages, be the bigger person and ignore them. Delete their phone number to get rid of any possible temptations in the future. Clean up your social media by unfollowing your ex and delete any posts that relate to them.
Avoid dwelling on red flags you should have seen, you cannot go back and change the past. Avoid yourself this pain and frustration by moving on.
2. Build A Support System
Lots of people find that building a support system will help you deal with a broken engagement. Ending a relationship can leave you feeling isolated and depressed.
Surround yourself with friends and family, people who love you. Not those who just want to pester you for details and gossip. Now you can make time for close friends you were too busy to be with before and reconnect with old friends. Things as simple as phone calls or texts to friends or family members can help ease the loneliness.
If you know someone who has been through a broken engagement or a divorce, ask them what resources helped them the most. There are many support groups and online communities that you can join to be with others in your situation. You can also seek counseling and meet with a licensed therapist who can listen to your issues. They are best placed to offer unbiased advice, and provide tailored resources.
3. Focus On Building Your Best Self After A Broken Engagement
A key way to deal with a broken engagement is to focus on yourself. Now is the perfect time to think about your short term and long term goals and how you can achieve them. Why not consider:
- Self-Care
This is the best time to practice self-care. Take long guilt free baths, get a manicure, indulge in a massage and binge a TV show you’ve been meaning to watch.
- Take a Class
By keeping yourself busy, you will be helping yourself live a fuller life and get to meet new people. There are many classes you can take in person or online. French lessons, sewing, pottery or building a website.
- Exercise
Join a gym and enjoy natural boosts of serotonin, endorphins and confidence. If gyms are not for you, there are plenty of unique fitness classes available: cycling, vinyasa yoga and extreme jump rope.
- Be Creative
Creative activities such as painting, poetry and music are powerful healing tools. Writing can also be a very cathartic exercise.
- Volunteer
Give your free time to noble causes like animal rescues, mentoring children, running food drives.
4. Be Financially Prepared
No one wants to be concerned with finances during such a difficult time, however they are important to take into consideration. You will need to reassess your finances, especially if you shared them with your ex.
Consider where you expenses are going such as debt, rent, and any money that might have been put towards the wedding. One of the first things to do is to cancel the wedding plans and wedding date. Check their cancellation policy and see if you can be reimbursed for any expenditures.
If you still have the engagement ring, any jewelry, handbags or watches from your ex-partner, why not sell them? If you and your ex cannot agree on who gets to keep the engagement ring, contact a divorce or family lawyer in your state. The laws for who is entitled to the ring vary state by state. Meeting with a lawyer when unsure is your best option.
What To Do With The Engagement Ring After A Broken Engagement?
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